Wednesday, March 03, 2004


'if you could manage me, i'll try to manage you because lately it's all I ever do'

I'm loving this mild weather, however, it only seems to indicate the old expression; 'in like a lamb, out like a lion'. I'm scared for the winterous turmoil that is to come. Anyways, Just rackin my brains out loud here.

I had this thought occur to me last night, as I walked home from sarah's house. My friend Garry mentioned to me, in our last meeting together which was well needed, something about wanting to 'call me to more' as a Christian. I thought long and hard about this idea. What 'more' was I being called 'to'? It vexxes me often times to think of how our society is so caught up on being called to more. People are categorized like data, according to their quantitative and qualitative properties. I think this is maybe moreso true in the Christian realm; be called to more, be challenged, do better, do more, love harder, become a better leader, be more open to criticism, be more like God, attain a higher level of Christianity.

In Don Miller's vw book, he talks about the big churches of North America; 'the big churches of this nation have gone the way of microsoft and IBM. Church Leadership conferences look more like corporate strategy seminars'. It's true, Don. I watched this DVD of a speaker from a Willow Creek conference and the guy speaking didn't sound a pastor moved by the heart of God; he sounded like the CEO of a corporation. Alot of his teaching seemed to be about bull-headed leaders and how you should 'do it anyways' as a leader, even if no one else supported you. I'm not sure Jesus would be so pumped about that idea. Isn't the whole idea of Christian leadership and community that you work as a team to further God's kingdom? Or is it 'plow on through like an asshole because it's YOUR vision and who gives a shit about what everyone else thinks'. Hmmm.

I think this whole weird idea of being called to more is all to circular and prevalent in the Christian circles of today. I understand the concept of a challenge and that 'open rebuke is better than hidden anger' but really, why do we continue to place such crazy expectations on each other? If someone is acting stupid or dirtying God's name as a Christian in action, OF COURSE you should challenged that. The grey area of leadership, however, is so weird and unclear. Instead of our motto as Christians being 'I'm calling you to more', shouldn't it be 'I love who you are; let's work with that!' ? I'm confused. I think we have taken a backwards step in our faith in that the Grace that was so amply afforded to us is often destroyed in our expectations of other believers.

At the heart of any challenge, there should be love, grace and painful care. Often though, what is at the heart of a challenge is 'this leader is different than I am and makes me uncomfortable in his/her style'. Come on, people. Work with each other. Just maybe we can make a difference.

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