Sunday, February 29, 2004

I hate how life just seems to be an endless list of crap to accomplish. I constantly feel like I am never getting anything done, or at least what I need to get done. I float by in a haze of days that blend together and intertwine like highway lines. I make lists and yet nothing gets accomplished on those lists; I either lose them or I forget them completely.
Tomorrow is a new day I guess. I saw The Passion of the Christ tonight and I was not really all that blown away. I think that it is a cinematic feat, for sure, and that Mel Gibson seems to be on a serious life-changing course, which is amazing, but I still wasn't that pizazzed. I guess what pisses me off most about this movie is that it has taken a hollywood movie about Jesus, accurately portraying Jesus agreed, to get a lot of sorry North American Christians off their asses. What's up with that? Why do so many Christians watch movies when they should be out influencing lives for the better? Why the hell does it take a big name actor to move a mass of people that should have been moving for centuries?
Maybe part of the answer is that we're a lazy, lame culture. And I mean lame as in 'sick and hurting'. No one wants to read the bible; they'd rather go see it in a fuckin movie and watch Jesus get bludgeoned on the big screen while they eat popcorn. I guess I am kinda ticked! I suppose it's due to the fact that this movie...really should come as 'no surprise' to Christians. I mean, if you've spent ten to twenty years in a church and you've never really thought that much about Jesus' death and resurrection before, and the undescribable agony he endured, maybe you should smarten up, hunh? Really.
I'm not saying I'm perfect and I think about Jesus's death and resurrection 24/7 here, folks. No sir. I'm as heathen as they come. I swear, I get easily angered, I look at dirty images, I'm self centered...yessir, I'm a general bastard. I feel just weird about this movie. So that's it for tonite. Workin tomorrow and then spending some quality time with sarah.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

AHHHHHH. Feels good to have a change. The weather has really started to lighten up this past few weeks. I ate a few bowls of Special K with red berries this morning...not so sure about those berries, though. They seem rather toxic. So as a different twist on a morning beverage today, instead of waiting everlong in the Timmy Ho's drive thru in a town where that is the most exciting part of most people's day, I made myself a chai latte with no water from the starbucks mix that Sarah bought me. What a lovely girl. It tastes great though it is lacking something...probably the steamed milk.

February is rippin' by, it is already the 19th and I feel like time is not on my side. This morning, upon waking, I basically had a conversation with my alarm clock, asking it why it deems to make my life so dang miserable. No response. I even asked it to get on my side for once as I feel it is always against me and just waiting to attack me from the shadows. No response. Typical clock. The only response I ever get from it is either horrifying noise or complete silence. What kind of a relationship is this?

I walked to and from work yesterday and it felt good to have a change. I think one of the problems of our North American world is that people drive too much, become softened and easily swayed by a warm car when the weather is any less than july or august material. No wonder so many people feel like they have no release in life; they go to bed wide awake because they've been sitting on their asses all day, in the office and in the car. So walking was a good thing. I took my discman and Joel and some newer Chili Peppers kept me moving and focused. I also had a good chat with God about wanting to be a good husband to my best friend Sarah. I hope that she'll accept me as she gets to know me more. She is more than words can describe. The only way for me to be a good husband is to shower her with grace. I see that time and time again in my life as a recipe for goodness. I don't think we can ever shower people with enough grace as I know, myself, I have tons of ungraciousness to make up for...

Jon Adams, what the heck is going on with you? For pete's sake, call me or at least email, you pathetic mound of heineken empties.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Howdy doody folkaroonies. So my friend Jon Adams lives in Aurora and I went to pay off a friggin 50 dollar parking ticket a few weeks back but the iron lady of fury said she would only drop my fine to 35 bucks. What a deal! Or, as one could say, what a 'bend-me-over-with-a-broomstick' kinda of a deal! Same poo, different corn consistency.

Lately I've felt kinda overrun by life, work, scheduling, dayplanners, co-ordinating work schedules, wedding planning, coffee, beer and the like. I know God is still working, still lighting my way on the dark evenings, but I feel kind of distant and separate. I guess that's because I sin, swear, lust, look at dirty shit, and long to fill my stomach with the pods of the hogs. I am the prodigal son, short and simple. I struggle, fight, sleep, wake up and start it all over again. It's like that song 'day in the life' by the beatles. There's no release. Sarah's been telling me lately that she has an endless amount of thoughts in her brain and this causes her to not really rest when she sleeps and she wakes up and basically continues the same exhausting thought process from the night before. I just want peace for her. I want peace for all of us. But the melody and fibre of this life is thick, hectic, chaotic and unresolving like jazz (read Don Miller's 'Blue Like Jazz' for more would be neat to go meet him this week).

So...I guess I'll keep fighting, struggling and kicking for air because hey, ain't this what makes life beautiful?

'beauty comes in moments of blissful sunsets. the pink sky cracks and never looks back.'

love ya jonny. erich, where ya been?

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