Thursday, January 28, 2010

Lacken Zee Bloggen
I want to move to an orchard
Modern life is often torture
The winter is always a scorcher
My signature's a forger

We used to call your dad 'the porcher'
Because he drank and belched a horrid chirp
Wanna hit the tennis court, sure?
It's about noon - time to take of the whore shirt

This blog is easy peasy like Japanesey.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Hangin' Up The Spurs For A Time
Sometimes, the sting of a loss is exactly what we need to learn from as
human beings. Our society is so prize-oriented; do really well so you can
beat everyone else and win. What our school systems and employment
practices haven't taught well is that losing is necessary.

The Cowboys got smoked today by a much better Vikings team - but
that's life. Unfortunately, North America is not interested in viewing
the big picture. We want the short term gain. We micro-manage. We
want to 'get rich quick' with MLM's.

I'm tired of it all.

Lose - and then lose again. It's good for you.

I am now plunging into thoughts of another week. A little while ago,
I had a weird allergic reaction to something (which I've tried to trace
back but can't recall). My face turned beet red and my body had
patches of hives all over it. I don't know what caused it and it's
happened twice (the first time without hives). Needless to say, I'm
not really thrilled about spending more time in my apartment
where it happened both times.

Time to clean.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Andy Samberg And Camp Humour
There's something innately campy about the humour of Andy
Samberg's SNL-saving digital shorts and his humour in general.
It's the sort of awkward, weird, nerdy white-guy shtick that
only gets funnier as the awkwardness level increases. At camp,
my friend Jeff and I recalled a very strange girl that we once
met at a youth retreat who went to a hip, trendy Ottawa
megachurch called the Met. When Jeff asked the girl (who
seemed to be very scattered - looking at people over her glasses
and not making eye contact) if she liked the programs that
the Met had to offer, the girl replied (after a long pause)
"...yeahhh - The Met rulessss!" and went back to eating.
The whole moment wreaked of this shoulder shrugging, head-
shake that makes the viewer say '...What?' with an overall
sense of dumbfoundedness. (For years afterward, in any odd
situation, Jeff would often stare blankly at people and say
'The Met rulessss' and then leave.)

This is the sort of humour Samberg relies on - heavy tones of
awkwardness that makes your skin itch and your eyes roll.
I have to admit that I love that style - and I'm glad for
Samberg's success. I am. His Digital Short entitled 'I Threw
It On The Ground' is one of the funniest/weirdest sketches
I have ever seen. If you've never seen 'Hot Rod' and you're
hot and heavy for that style of comic delivery, I highly
recommend it. Bring your silly hat.

The downside is (much like camp, itself), this humour can
only last for so long before it gets old. It has be kept fresh,
worked at and experimented with constantly.

You go, Samberg. You are an amalgam of many bunkmates
from many summers spent at a camp.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

First One Of The New Era
Sometimes you have to move forward when everything in your
being is screaming to either stay put or go backwards. Last year,
I treated this blog like a chore but in doing that, I became
largely uninterested in blogging and only really wrote to
complete a task and check a tick off my list. I think that in
life, the chore-aspect of anything will always make it less
appealing. When we have to get something done (i.e. pay a
bill, shovel the driveway, change the tires, empty the cat
litter), we lose the luster and the spark of the activity.

All of these vacation commercials drive me bananas. It's
like this psychological pleasure-centre that marketers tap
into to dangle carrots in front of the average joe to work really
hard and save up a bundle of dough only to blow it all in 10 days
on a trip to some tropical island. I mean really - what
penultimate good is an island trip going to do for anybody?
Let's look at some pros and cons:

-gets you into the sun (good for vitamin D)
-gives you a break from your natural surroundings
-relieves stress temporarily

-makes you despise your surroundings even more upon return
-often makes you sick (due to massive climate change)
-psychologically makes you wish you could stay longer
-forces one to spend a lot of money that would have gone
a long way in their natural surroundings
-makes others jealous/angry that they couldn't do the same
-breeds a tourist mindset that allows us to think we can
show up in any community, use up resources and then

Okay - maybe I'm being very negative towards the idea of
tropical vacations. Ultimately, I believe in vacations. I do. The
idea of a temporary retreat from your normal environment is
very healing in the sense that it should make you more
centered and ponder things that you really do like about
your real home. I just don't think people need to fantasize
about going halfway across the world for 10 days thinking
that it's going to cure them. I say that if you're going to go
halfway across the world, quit your job, go for a year and
work there. Figure out the true needs of the community. Make
friendships. Be part of a solution as opposed to a problem.

We don't always need the fantasy of the island to relieve us
from chores. There are lots of cool and beautiful country
side spots 20-30 minutes away from most city centers in

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