Uncage The Words
Tonight, the words will flow. No borders. No boundaries. Just the syntax-less stream of consciousness that is within me. That and the crisp winter air that reminds me of the cold, sharp sting of our mortality.
We try to be safe. We try to be so calculated with our moves. We want to make sure that we are doing absolutely everything right.
No one wants to look stupid and everyone wants to save face.
I will play with the words until they are shapeless masses of nothingness - until I have beaten every morsel of meaning out of their juicy cores.
I don't know who I've become. I used to be a man of belief - a man of conviction. But now, I am a sullen shadow of the person that I once was.
But is that wrong? Absolutely not. Those moments of self definition, where I replaced being liked by girls as the essence of my being were moments that helped me figure out who I am - and who I would become.
Belief is defined by the believer - and though I still believe, I believe in my own way.
I believe as a free man and not as a slave to a system.
I need acceptance. It's the way that my circuitry flows. I get off on seeing other people happy with who I am.
Whether I am on the mountain top or in the deepest, blackest shelves of the ocean, I need to be in a place that makes other people think that I am okay.
At the end of the day, I just want to be liked.
But I will write and I will play and I will perform with conviction - every motherfucking time.
I will write circles around the posers and I will sing my guts out while the phonies sing off-key to impress their potential lovers.
I could go a thousand years without a lover - as long as I am happy with who I am.
The loneliest times are often when we are with other people.