Thursday, December 18, 2008


Why do we sometimes feel like we don't belong somewhere that
is actually our community and home? Why do we get sudden
impulses to leave everything behind? Why do we want to go
'Kerouac' on everyone? What is so appealing about the open
road as opposed to a stable home of love and acceptance?

A lot of things just bother me tonight. I don't even know if I
could fully formulate as to why I feel the way I do - I just do.
It nags at the corners of my mind - an approaching black
storm cloud in the distant sunny sky.

I need to uncork and unwind. I need to get back into running.
I need to do things that I love to do - not just what I am forced
to do. I'm looking forward to a break. I'm looking forward to
family, friends, cards, beer, running, walking, eating, and
spending time with my lover.

Oh yeah...and Christmas is a week away. Frig.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Snow Day

It's enjoyable to have a day to do nothing. My time is
uber-scheduled these days and for once, I'm actually not
minding the mass amounts of white shyzen falling from
the sky's big pooper. Of course, I would think differently
if I had to work. Ottawa gets way more snow than St.
Catharines. In reality, though, not even weeks of tropical
weather from january to march could make me choose
to live there again.

Sarah is doing some homework. I think I should write
some Christmas cards.

For some reason, this quote is resounding with me
today (from Donald Miller's 'Searching For God Knows

"The lifeboat system of redemption seems so ugly in comparison
to the love of God. We can trust our fate to a jury of peers in the
lifeboat, we can work to accumulate wealth, buy beauty under a
surgeon's knife, panic for our identities under the fickle friendship
of culture, and still die in separation from the one voice we
really needed to hear."

Today is a day to think - to reflect - to slow down. The
snow forces us to do so.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Just For The Dang Heck Of It

You better watch out...You better not pout. I love the morality
behind Christmas. It's sort of hilarious that we are taught,
from a young age, to be 'good' to people so that we can be
rewarded by a fat, red-suited man who will slide down
our dirty chimney and leave us material posessions. It's
so North American. No wonder our economy is where it
is. No one is ever satisfied and we have not, as culture,
embraced the ideal of living within our means (although,
to be honest, if John McCain called me and asked me if
he could buy out my credit card, I'd vote for him...even
though I'm Canadian.)

This morning was a slushy, sloppy walk to work. My
feet are still drying out. The weather has been pretty
dismal for a while, now. Last tuesday, it rained all day and
I spent the day indoors (after hearing about two people
being shot and killed in my brother's building) watching
'No Country For Old Men'. I didn't feel too excitable.

Seeing 'Stars' live in Ottawa last week was quite an
experience. I had seen Amy Millan do a solo performance
before but I had never seen the likes of Torq Campbell
on stage. That guy is brimming with enthusiasm and
passion and there was something about him (although a
little soap-boxy at times) that enticed me. There was
something about his aura that suggested 'I am not willing
to do anything else - I live, sleep, eat and breathe music.'

It was awe-inspiring.

I'm gonna try to write a little more frequently on this
thing (even if it's just a brainfart, here and there).

Christmas comes
Fill the slums
Glass coffee cups and pudding plums

Candy canes
Icy lanes
It's all corrupt - it's all insane.

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