I'm listening to Pinwheels by the Smashing Pumpkins. It's a track from their latest record Oceania.
In my mind, it represents the dimly and brightly coloured landscapes of our lives.
For so many, SP was a lifestyle. An iconic band of the 90's that showed the glossy, glammy power-chord bands that there could be another style of music that could grip the hearts of millions - alternative. Corgan and many of his contemporaries basically pushed the boundaries of genre with the creation of the 'alt' tag.
But they are no longer that band. Billy is still there, yes - but they have changed.
As we run through this life, sometimes with arms wide open and other times panting ceaselessly, we continue to get to where we aim to be. Wherever that is and whatever we want it to look like, we strive for it. We focus our eyes to the fuzzy zenith ahead.
And sometimes, in the smallest glint of horizon light, the end goal changes. We find ourselves asking the question 'what was I running for in the first place?'
And then, as we cross a frozen pond of struggle, we see our own reflection.
We have changed. We are no longer who we were.
SP will never be the same and this song represents the best thematic structure I've seen or heard in a while that illustrates the unmovables. And although those unmovables are there, we must still navigate around and beyond them.
The songs of our heart sound the same even though the goal may have changed.
Change is alright.
We change our breathing.