Though I know little about Zen Buddhism, some of the teachings
interest me in the sense of living a centered, balanced life. And
although I'm in no way renouncing my faith and belief in the
personal manifestation of Jesus (and remember - this is coming
from me - I'm not trying to convert anyone, here - so ease up
on those blame-holsters), I've realized that in all honesty, I don't
know what I believe.
Maybe, though, I should start out by displaying what I do
believe - and go from there.
I do believe that Jesus, in the life that He lived (and I write He
with a capital H both out of habit but also out of believing and
knowing, to an extent, that He is the most important glue and
centrifugal figure of my life), both historically and etherally as a
post-life being, showed people a way to live that makes sense.
It was one of action, for the most part - and when words were
used, they were thought out and calculated. And if I do believe
in the best-documented and researched idea of Jesus, I also
have to believe that there is a Force greater than Him of which
He continually spoke of and served. I believe (and know) that
I've experienced a personal manifestation of Him both in the
realm of that which cannot be explained by happenstance or
co-incidence and in the sublime peace I've found when
speaking directly with Him. (No - I'm not crazy. But yes -
I do speak to Jesus.) Most of the time I don't hear much - and
a lot of the time, I feel bizarre when walking down empty city
streets speaking to Him - but in the small percentile of time
when He speaks back, my soul has been awoken.
That said - I don't believe that the church, as it stands today in
North America and a big fraction of the globe, is 'the bride of
Christ' or something that I need to adhere to - because frankly,
it disgusts me. Though I have seen and been a part of some
communities who have understood the teachings of Jesus and
really studied these and taken them to heart in their lives and
positive communal impact, for the most part, I think church is
dead. And although good folks like Shane Claiborne, Don
Miller, Henir Nouwen (rest in peace) and Brian Maclaren will
do what they can to promote and uplift the vessel of the Christian
church, the detritus of the early church is all we have, now, and
what remains is a stodgy, prudish, well-dressed clan of naivete
and cult-ish hero worship.
Do I believe community is dead? Definitely not. Community is
what the definitive realm of the early church was - and I'm not
taking about some modern cliche buzz-word here, or a hipster
TV show - I'm talking about Community with a capital C.
Living together. Eating together. Families within families. Friends
that become families. The real rubber-hitting-the-road, day-in
and day-out 'I'm sick of this person, but I love them, regardless'
type of stuff. When Community happens in its truest form, I
believe that good things happen and that the modern world
both can't understand the selfless nature of it - yet desires it
inwardly in the same breath.
So that's a morsel of what I DO and DO NOT believe.
Recently, my brother was reading a Zen proverb about a man
who learns to 'empty his cup' to receive true blessing. And
though I'm not fully doing that proverb justice here, I have
been thinking a lot about the concept of 'emptying out' -
scraping the barrel. Starting fresh. Meditating.
Emptying the cup, first - so that it can be full again.
I don't give a shit what anyone thinks. I am who I am.
And you are who YOU are. So let's be those people.
Let's stop looking at what's wrong with the world - and look
at what's right.
