Monday, September 11, 2006

The Blue Pill

Here I am, back at work, writing to you again from the city seen in the
above pictographical device (actually....the building where I work
is the tall, wide one with blackish windows). I feel neither good nor
bad about it. My emotions feel depleted. I worry about heart palpitations
and heart attacks constantly and wake up some nights at 3 am,
with heart racing, gasping for air because of anxiety. This is mostly
because I have dreams about animals and snakes in my bed.

Anyways, I'm alive. I'm here. Sarah is with me. I like music. You see,
I've learned this technique that doctors call 'talking yourself out' of
anxiety. It seems to be mostly effective but other times I just think I'm
gonna straight out die. Well...I am sometime. We all are. I guess these
past few years have really helped me to wrestle with that idea and get sort
of semi-comfortable with that notion.

The Wah and The Fax
I had a great time on both counts - my week at Iawah was youthful
and supremely busy but fun to be a part of the new action going on
there - and Halifax was adventurous. I learned much about my friend
Ray and what makes him who he is - that was good. I would also
travel with him at the drop of a hat anytime, again, if the opportunity
presented itself. Three new songs were recorded with grand master
Charles Austin and they may be both an upcoming demo and EP for
release this winter.

For now...I'm home.

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