Friday, July 22, 2011


Sometimes, we need to get sick. We need to lay low and take stock
of everything around us and survey our fears. I have a huge need to
be liked by other people and a lot of the time, it drives what I do. I
weigh a lot of decisions through the filter of what I think someone else's
thoughts might be.

I've also always had trouble with money. I've never really been able
to get ahead in life and even where I've made plenty of money, I've had
to rely on getting help from others to get by. I've never been a self-made
financial guy and I think it definitely reflects in my confidence at times.

I also have some repressed thoughts and for the past few years, I've been
trying to figure out a lot of things in life. I still believe in community and
the power of gathering together with like-minded and offsetting folks, but
I don't know how that is supposed to look these days. I still believe there
is a Force guiding us and loving us but I can't seem to see that being played
out in a live setting.

I want to be a better person. I want to love my friends and family but
I also don't want to be so concerned about what they think that I hold
myself back from reaching potential.

Looking in can be hard but good.

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