Here In The Thick
So here we are. I'm over halfway across the country from my home, and despite a few strange moments of anxiety and uncertainty, I am living in the thick of a change and a transition. The mountain air has filled my lungs with a crispy splendour, and I feel like I can take on the challenges that are headed my way.
I've also had some dark moments of just being alone and letting the light slip away slightly, just so I know what it feels like to truly experience the dankness of solitude. The days end earlier in the mountains, and the large rocky crags and of the Rockies shield out the stark sun. People settle into their domiciles, and just sort of exist. The western stars expand and expose something greater than all of combined good will.
I've met some new people and taken on some new obstacles in order to further myself and my writing career. We will see how things happen but in the end, without risk, there really is no mental or spiritual reward.
And anxiety is a temporary fixture. It is an unwanted bag on a trip that is soon unpacked, stowed away and forgotten about. And truly, anxiety is such a stupid little trinket in the giant wardrobe of this life. Sure - we have to deal with it, but we must see the blessings even in the weirdest moments.
Anxiety causes us to worry about things that we have nothing to worry about - but in the end, the truth prevails. And the best part is that we get a temporary reminder that we are, in fact, alive.
Bruce McCulloch (Kids In The Hall) said it best at his live show last night. He was talking about being at the hospital when his dad was on his deathbed, and getting a coffee at the Tim Hortons in the cafeteria. He said, in one strange moment, the sun hit his arms and warmed them and he thought "You know what? This life is pretty cool". And minutes later, he went back upstairs to his dad's room, and he had passed away.
We never know, but we must continue to find the flow.
The river breaks and bends, but we don't know how it ends.
