No, I did not go through a mid life crisis. Although...I am 30...
I suppose I should go through one of those soon.
I feel that a lot of life is either looking ahead or looking
back without much inbetween. Whether you embrace that
fact or wrestle with it can really make a difference in how
well you sleep at night. Lately, I've been doing much looking
ahead which, I suppose, is a good thing. Maybe this means
I'm starting to understand that the past is gone, re-learning
to have zest and a passionate fire for what may come. The
next few months will prove to be task-oriented but also
relaxed. I have much planned but biggest among these
trees of ideas is the spruce of a winter tour - A small five or
six city tour, playing in some dingy rock pubs and 1 dollar
drink bars where the floors are sticky and the smoke is
still embedded in the dark coloured wallpaint and low
light fixtures.
This is something I've always wanted to do and well...
the time is now, really. I'm sure there are more responsible
and less time-consuming activities to undertake but
really, I could care less. Life is for the living and you
can sleep when you're dead. As Regis Philbin titled
his book "I'm Only One Man" but Regis, I'll be
damned if I don't try to be more than a man.
God appears to different people in different ways but
one thing that is universal, and that I think all cultures
and heritages would agree upon, is that the true God
does not stand for injustice. I want to be Johnny Cash.
I want to care for the sick. I want to be concerned
about the children dying on the dirt streets of Africa.
I want to pick up garbage on the streets of filthy
downtown St. Catharines. I want to give all my
possessions and bullshit away to the homeless. I want
to understand more about gay men and women.
At the base level, though, I just want to be a good
listener and spend time with the ones I love.
Fuck the rest.
