Monday, March 23, 2020

Lost At Sea


It's quite a time, isn't it? I never thought I'd be writing from the upstart of a worldwide pandemic virus. I suppose that this virus has many flashpointy sputnik points to it - illuminating outward in angular spokes, just like the red nodules of its microscopic picture. For one, it has already done a lot of damage. Many have died and some in mass amounts in small windows of time. It seems there is a predictive element to this thing - and at the same time, even the world experts seem to have no fucking idea what they are talking about.

It's hard to write anything - to feel anything - and to create anything in the face of this monster. The numbers don't seem to be comforting the slightest, as the ramp up is still happening in many parts of the globe. Most likely, in North America, we are just about to ride to apex of the hellercoaster.

But in other ways, and in other small windows of the globe, people are returning to a base form of communication. Words. Video chats. Phone calls. It's incredible that universal bandwidth can keep up with all of it. It's a very interesting time. Even the most non-communicative are being forced to reach out and talk to their neighbours, their family and their friends - not even to just check in - but just to talk with others about the scope of the era that we - as a species - are in.

I supposed this storm has also surfaced in my emotional brewpot, as well. It's made me take a deep look into the cauldron of myself, and sometimes, I truly don't like what I see. I wish I could do more. I wish I spent more time volunteering. I wish I had started down the music trail earlier in life. I wish I could more emotional and connective stability in the relationship department. I wish I was thicker skinned. I wish. I wish.

Whatever the case, I'm trying to stay focused on the creative side. My daughter is three hours away. And she is safe, and in the best possible place while all of this is happening. I am forced to still work and be on the front lines in food service delivery. There's a part of me under all of this gloom and doom that has to see the bright side. I have to look at it - it's just the way I am wired. I think about the potential it will have to change the way we think - the way we can open up more to one another. The way we can lend a hand to our fellow man, and just be readily available to love. Whatever the case, humans will find a way to keep loving. Without love, we are only machinist vessels. We need to look at the good that will come from this. We need to think about the billion points of light that will reach out to anyone in the darkest depths, and help them feel and know real comfort.

We have to live on
We have to survive.
Whether in memory or reality.

Love is the answer.

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