A Need for More Meat
This is my second post in the same day, but I feelthe first one was weak and needing some more meatand potatoes so I'm back for another kick at theproverbial can, if you will. I was going to demolish thefirst post but I see that Charnman (the blog lurker) hasposted a comment so I have to leave it there for dexterityand so as not to spoil his hippocratic oath.Mike, you ARE about to rock, and I salute you.
Working for the weekend (2 year anniversary)
Sarah and I got away this past weekend, in a waywe hadn't in a while - we went to a town that is noteither of our parents' and stayed somewhere thatis not either of their houses. Though we both hadcrappy sleeps, Port Hope was a grand junction andjust a great getaway spot. If any of you's are thinkingabout getting away somewhere I highly recommendthe Lantern Inn as a spot to lay your head. We drankwine on our terrace and went for drinks where Sarahgot a drink called 'After the Storm (which should havejust been called 'The Storm') which was a splash ofBlue Caracao and Champagne and a BUCKET of Vodka - the next night we both ate a GARGANTUAN slab of prime rib (plus another 4 beers which gave me unholy indigestion through the night) and just spent much time walking around the picturesque riverside town, looking in antiques stores and overpriced clothing stores. I almost bought anold Harmony electric (that looked exactly like a Strat)but I'm glad I didn't because you know...no exchangesno refunds. Yesterday wasn't as fun because wespent alot of it doing laundry, and then getting backto St. Kits mega-late, only to have the breeze gethotter as we drove further south. Friggin goldenhorseshoe. Now it's back to reality and the moneygrind. Oh well. Ya do the humpty-hump.
Things to look forward to
1. The Oilers Winning the Cup - it will happen, and evenif it doesn't, they've come a long way and give hopeto any underdog in this life.2.Broken Social Scene et al next weekend withSarah and friends - I think you can still get ticketsat ticketmaster.ca and if you miss this show, youare losing out on living.3. Canada Day -all of you posers, make your wayto Kingston for a serious bash and a possible 3 pieceGraven concert. 4. Staff Training and Ignition at Iawah - summer campingis a passion of mine and to be able to do it for fun, fora week or so in the summer, is fuel for my tank.
C'est ca pour aujourd'hui mes amis. Au revoirs.
You've got Nerves Swerving Everywhere
Well, it's about that time. I'm kinda clueless today - it'srainy, it's monday...what else could drown out the world?Another week of slugging it in the trenches for the almightydollar begins. People who actually have passion towards theirprofession are a lucky breed. The way I see it, this job is onlya means to an end. A means to getting Sarah through schoolwithout too many stings, getting us food on the table, andfunding my music career. Not much else in my mind right now, and with the recent mentalfloodings, it is nice to just be floating. It's all watery. I amlooking forward to Canada Day, Civic Holiday, and any otherday that involves embibing in suds with good friends andlife loves. Peace out.
Jesus Loves the Druglords
Love. Why can't we love better? What's with all the walls and territorial thinking that encapsulates North American culture? Why is it easier to categorize than accept someone? 'To love and serve all'. What a great thought.
Hate. What perpetuates itself most in our society? Why do freedoms seem so trivial most days when really they are something to be revelled in and enjoyed? Why do biases overrule objectivity and a caring heart? Why are we all so anxious, depressed, elated, and overconfident all at once?
This life is a fragmented view of a whole picture that an essence of our being looks to and hopes for; it defines our entirety and our nothingness all in the same breath. We cannot escape it. I drink coffee and try to relax but it's no use - something tells me there are things afoot that I cannot stop and that this life will NOT slow down for any human. I crave the whole picture but grudgingly accept the incomplete pixelation that appears before me. My soul longs to be held dear, to be hugged and caressed, to be told 'it will be alright' and will that to be true.
This is not downwardness - just honesty. Trivial conversations concerning nothing more than the weather give me slivers of old, wooden bordeom from ships that have sailed into foggy misanthropic mists. I long for depth - I cannot be satisfied in this shallow pond. Though it frightens me to the core, I long to stir up the lake leading to the sea, hungry for buried treasure covered in lichen and centuries of oceanic legend. I stand at the deck, my companion, trying to foresee pink skies to avoid the storms...but it's no use...for the storms will always come.
With shaky but outstretched arms and extended fingers, I accept the future. For past without future is less than the equation of reality - it is sub-reality. To create a time machine would be to live unchallenged and completely in control with no room for growth or depth.
'So distant sometimes, on an island in your mind, too far away to find...' -matt mays
and so it goes...and so it goes...
I used to watch movies like Magnolia and not really understand what the characters were going through because I myself lived a pretty stressless life. Maybe that's why I prefer light comedies these days as anything too intense seems to make me antsy and anxious and worried. It seems like there alot of tv shows now that are asphyxiated with death and the concepts therein. CSI, Jordan Crossing, Without a Trace, House, but what's worse is that these are all shows that Sarah LOVES! Well, a few of them. CSI and House especially. The point is that I feel like I have crossed a new plane where I have thought about death and dying to the point that it can go no further - this doesn't mean it won't happen but that constant thinking about it will do no good.
IT IS SOMETHING BEYOND MY CONTROL.THINGS BEYOND MY CONTROL ARE NOT WORTH MY WORRY. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY TOMORROW IN AUSTRALIA,
Life is here to be lived. Anxiety will come and worries will come - what's important is just realizing that seasons of life will be more worrysome than others and knowing that you will 'get thru it' is key thinking. Like Michael J. Fox's character on Scrubs (a doctor with obsessive compulsive disorder) said "Just know that when there's something you think you can't do and your mind keeps throwing up roadblocks, you can drive right thru 'em."
It was great to see some old friends lately, first at iawah down memory lane and then Jonny A shows up faithfully for his yearly beer/poker/pizza time in st kits. Love you Jonny. Bless your little heart.
