I never just write anymore. There always has to be some sort
of purpose or driver behind what I do. I hate that. I love the
freeform and the expression. My best songs come when I lose the
sense of care about inserting cliche phrases like 'honey' or 'love'
in the lyrics because they are felt and not calculated. Although
calculation is important in any art - I need to feel. I need to move
my arms about and let the paint hit the canvas in a weird
explosion of colour and oddity.
Someone was asking the question, recently, about the canon of
scripture and how and when and what books were picked to be in
the final manifesto. I thought about this for a while...but I rested
haughtily on the conclusion that 'I don't really care to know the
answer'. If I have to equate what I discern to be 'God' as some sort
of apologetic truth then I've only plugged in a number. I haven't
experienced or felt anything spiritual or cerebral.
Honestly, I'm past the point of trying to prove people right or
wrong in life. I know what works for me and ultimately, I believe
that there is a spiritual force behind everything. I believe it has
human undertones. I believe it started all of us. I believe it has
fatherly and motherly instincts. I usually refer to it, in my mind and
soul, as a 'Him' with a capital H because I believe HE deserves
respect. I've spoken with Him and I've heard Him speak to
me. That part, I'm certain of - although I'm not certain of the
people who want to quantify His every nodule or ascertain
everything there is to know about Him. I don't think He wants
us to know - because there is a deep joy in the mystery of Him.
Reading over that paragraph, it sounds lame - but it's truth.
Truth usually sounds lame.
I want to keep exploring - like Cousteau and Captain Nemo.
The deep trenches of the ocean floor await us all.
