Dereliction Of Duty3rd Bass are one of the best rap groups of all times. Hands Down. No
contest. Don't even argue. It's not worth it.
Sunday is a day of reckoning - a day of taking stock. It's a day to
kick back, light up the coffee maker and make it sing songs of
percolation. It's a day to shake your soul and force it to see things
the way you don't want to - sometimes, in a face-slapping/cold-shock
manner.
I'm trying to get back into blogging without the risk of it becoming
a mechanical exercise of check-mark ticking. I'm trying to be more
open about how I really feel and not conjuring up existential garb
for the sake of being deep.
Stick with me.
I know what you're thinking...I never just write anymore. There always has to be some sort
of purpose or driver behind what I do. I hate that. I love the
freeform and the expression. My best songs come when I lose the
sense of care about inserting cliche phrases like 'honey' or 'love'
in the lyrics because they are felt and not calculated. Although
calculation is important in any art - I need to feel. I need to move
my arms about and let the paint hit the canvas in a weird
explosion of colour and oddity.
Someone was asking the question, recently, about the canon of
scripture and how and when and what books were picked to be in
the final manifesto. I thought about this for a while...but I rested
haughtily on the conclusion that 'I don't really care to know the
answer'. If I have to equate what I discern to be 'God' as some sort
of apologetic truth then I've only plugged in a number. I haven't
experienced or felt anything spiritual or cerebral.
Honestly, I'm past the point of trying to prove people right or
wrong in life. I know what works for me and ultimately, I believe
that there is a spiritual force behind everything. I believe it has
human undertones. I believe it started all of us. I believe it has
fatherly and motherly instincts. I usually refer to it, in my mind and
soul, as a 'Him' with a capital H because I believe HE deserves
respect. I've spoken with Him and I've heard Him speak to
me. That part, I'm certain of - although I'm not certain of the
people who want to quantify His every nodule or ascertain
everything there is to know about Him. I don't think He wants
us to know - because there is a deep joy in the mystery of Him.
Reading over that paragraph, it sounds lame - but it's truth.
Truth usually sounds lame.
I want to keep exploring - like Cousteau and Captain Nemo.
The deep trenches of the ocean floor await us all.
The Yearning To ExpungeMost of my life, these days, is 'keep-up' - perform the tasks that need
to get done and sideline anything else. The problem with that
mentality is the lack of zest or zeal that I have for writing or
creating anything that requires my time. On top of that, my
grammatical incisiveness has become shockingly detrital. It's
pretty beleaguering.
I do what needs doing - close my computer -
fall asleep - and repeat the cycle.
I wonder if there will ever be a season in my life where the
balance will be weighed and set. I wonder when passion will
closely connect with discipline - that's the elusive carrot.
February is proving to be kind of a rough month on all counts.
A sickness coupled with an upcoming major car repair has
really made me sullen with a burden-esque walk.
Birds. Brighter mornings. More sun.
All good things to come.
Gabcast!
gravenrecords #0
Please take a listen to my latest thoughts on life, love and
sickness.
F*ckin' February.
