Thursday, December 11, 2003

Today is shaping up to be a strange one. I have worked a number of hours this past week that I was not scheduled for and so I am running on little sleep fuel....oh ya...and I got engaged.

I never more thought of permanence as when I first saw the actual ring, in tangible form, that I bought for Sarah. I mean really, up to that point in a relationship, everything else regarding marriage or commitment is just talk. But when you see those diamonds gleaming at you and when you ring your debit card through the cash (sweating in hopes that you won't hear the horrific 'insufficient funds' beep) and when you take that sucker home with you in your pocket, reality kicks in.

I think that the whole process of any given romantic relationship is (ironically) romanticized. The relationship garble we are spoonfed from television sitcoms like "Friends" and the like, pedestalizing love as pure 100% feeling, shiny teeth and throbbing pulses, is wacked. Ask any married couple in their forties with kids and skin 'not-so-shiny'; feeling is a very, VERY small percentage of the equation.

Perpendicularly, I thought that getting engaged would be a beauiful forever-frozen-in-time moment that will stay framed in my heart forever. Now don't get me wrong, it is and will be framed forever for sure, but after that amazing clifftop moment was over, and after sarah and myself trudged down the icy mountain carrying bailey's, candles and butt cold chinese food, I had a real sense of 'there is so much more to be done'. This is where the rubber hits the road.

And I guess that's it; love ain't so much about feelings as it is being committed. It's about being Indiana Jones and stepping out in faith, with one partner, and being solely devoted to that partner, no matter what perils arise. It's also more about a Loving Father who watches the steps of the partners every inch of the way and whose light never ceases to guide, warm and shine through the darkest of nights.

Now...I'm not gonna get into the whole explanation of my Loving Father because for some people, my words are flying headlong over them. For this I apologize. If you don't know the heck this "God" stuff is, that people like Jonny, Crazy Erich and myself blog about, feel free to ask one of us in a comment, but just be who you are. Don't judge me and I promise not to do the same to you. Everyone has different opinions and beliefs and this I must respect.

So yeah...tangent-filled and straining for sure.

Outy 5000

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